Breathe it all in

People pass by here busy and rushing to the next class or thing on their to-do list. As much as I used to love the city life, it was never because of the crazy rush. Being surrounded by people of different cultures and different perspectives... And of course.. having a friends I could ask anything of drew me to the place I called home. Not to mention God's fingerprints are all over it. That's why California stole my heart. New surprises and fond childhood memories around every corner always found me.

This week as I left again, I realized how much I love my home in Tulsa. My friends always pick me up when I fall flat on my face(and we all know how clumsy I am..) and encourage me throughout this journey. These people make up the Body of Christ - each playing different roles, yet madly in love with the Creator of all and Savior who sacrificed everything. On the other hand, had I forgotten all the fakes I met when I first moved and the heartache of watching others turn their back to the only one who would always wrap his arms around them?

All this being said, last night Norman finally felt like home. Not an apartment. Not where I go to school. But home. Molding friendships with other believers with genuine hearts for the same Beloved Savior I cling to and running into old treasured friends with more memories than I could ever count. Being able to worship last night with other college students... finally I wasn't alone. Not that classes haven't been amazing and I haven't met cool people in my classes, but last night... finally my soul could breathe deeply again.

This morning the Lord reminded me to have patience and faith even when I can't see what's next. He will be the light in this dark and sad world. For both those suffering and just for the current wickedness and mentality of this world, He provided this beautiful Psalm this morning. "Those who sow in tears will reap with shouts of joy. Though one goes along weeping, carrying the bag of seed, he will surely come back with shouts of joy, carrying his sheaves." Psalms 126:5-6 On my knees I will remain in absolute humbleness as I patiently wait for the seeds to take root. May you and I preserver while our hearts break for this world and we long for our King's name be known.

New Chapter

So camp never got less hectic. Go figure. And life didn't slow down for a second. When I look back over the last few years, it feels like it never has. How I treasure those days I get to linger and stroll in the presence of God.

I could go on and on about camp... probably forever. He swept through that place and molded the hearts of more than I could count. Being around kids absolutely reminds me of why God created us and our purpose. Serving with the innocence of a child and the eagerness of the youth became my center focus. And of course.. as the summer came and is now slipping away, I've only discovered who I'm meant to be in a more grounded and concrete way. Each day my Savior opens my eyes and shows me the daughter He's created me to be.

Now, after a week in Santa Fe N.M. of pushing myself in all kinds of ways(climbing a mountain, wrestling the giants in my life, and seeking the power and beauty of the God of all Creation) I'm starting a new journey. Or at least a new chapter. Just like in a book, some characters remain while brand new and exciting people arrive. New twists in the plot and surprises around each corner.. all of it holds true with each new chapter and scene. Tomorrow I'm moving in to my new apartment and entering a new mission field. I pray He leads my steps and continues to be the one I turn to in all situations. This journey will probably leave time to update this little blog. But I have a feeling in my gut this one will push me like never before and in ways I can't even imagine yet.

God bless you for caring about his child. I appreciate the support, prayers and everything in between. Thank you for being such an impact in my life and the lives around you.

- Your Sister in Christ -

At the Foot of the Cross

Sorry it’s been over a month since I’ve wrote anything. I’m going to try to do better and share what is going on here in the craziness of camp. I knew it would get hectic, but this year with four day weeks it seems even faster. Every spare moment is devoted to sleep or study. And although my body screams for rest most of the time, I’ve never felt more like I’m right where God wants me. Constantly I feel surrounded by his presence. Having such godly influences around me only continues to remind me of the person I’m meant to be. Not to mention… I think the soreness in my stomach the first was not only from all the hard work, but also from laughing so much. My brothers and sisters mean the world to me and I can’t wait to see where God leads each us.

But of course the highlight always is the little girls. One day of watching their faces light up after each salvation and encouraging them to try new and exciting challenges with Christ’s strength alone could be enough joy to last a life time. Every new story and struggle leads us back to the foot of the cross where we empty everything only to be filled by his Holy Spirit. My prayer tonight is for action. This word resounds in my head and has echoed for days now. His followers must put their feet to the pavement and take strides for justice and love. These young children are grasping the simple concepts so many push aside and ignore. What we hear affects our thoughts and then our hearts… and eventually our actions. Listening to his still, small voice remains my ambition and longing for my life and for each child I have the privilege of meeting this summer. My heart longs to faith like Ruth and the bravery of Rahab. How I desire to daily walk in trusting obedience that Mary had. Let our hearts soak up the entirety of our Savior only to become more servant hearted. Ignite those around you.

Lesson 2:

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep, For You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety.” Psalms 4:8

While camping earlier this week, I had the opportunity to bask in the Lord’s presence longer than usual. Just being out in nature, you learn so much of God’s beauty and character. Of course along with camping are the tents and crazy fun bonfires (which meant sleeping on rocks). Before crashing, my head raced with thoughts of the future and the present and they entangled with memories from the past. Only a few hours later I awoke to what I thought was a tornado siren. For someone who hasn’t grown up with tornados, I can only describe the feeling of hearing those sirens as fear consuming me. I OF COURSE would be the sucker in a tent when a tornado hit. Turns out it was just a train. But we found only after calling parents before even the sun was awake. Sorry again.

The next morning as I spent time really absorbing the first few chapters of the beautiful Psalms my soul settled. What an amazing promise that He will not only provide safety to lie down (the physical), but much more – sleep. I’m so assured of the peace He provides in the darkness of worry and scary situations. No matter where I’ve come from or what is to come from this moment on I’m so secure in his arms. I think deep down I may have been keep all my concerns to myself about where this year will take me. Letting him in to comfort me with my biggest fears and dreams made such a difference. How could I have been so selfish…? I’m so glad his greatness shines through my vulnerability.




Lesson 3:

Pack light.

We’ll see if I can actually do it for real this time.

Lesson Number 1

The day after tomorrow I’ll be driving up to camp and ready to start a new chapter of my life. Summers always bring adventure and wonders I can never describe. This week alone in prepping and packing, God has been working and moving all around me.

Lesson number 1:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind.” II Timothy 1:7

Being used by God and doing his will must be the goal and longing of the heart to walk with him down the paths He has called us to travel. As many of you know fear can cripple and hinder one from pressing forward and all throughout the Word in which I stand, fear is never an option. Doubt and worry are simply not from the Lord. This all being true… I realized there was something I had to do.

What is this incredible fear you ask?

Horses.

Many of you might start laughing at this point… but the idea of being on something that has a mind of its own and can throw you off only to stomp the very life out of you… Yeah they freak me out. I think they’re beautiful to look at. Don’t get me wrong. Just giving control to an animal gets to me. At camp there will be horses and I’m not sure how much I’ll have to be around them. What if a poor kid is just as scared as me? How on earth can I be real with him or her and assure them everything will be fine? I knew the only way to face this fear was facing it head on. As I pulled up the horse was already saddled and I slid on boots ready to meet the famous CeCe. I soon learned after it taking me a good ten minutes or so to get on, CeCe wasn’t really in control. I was the one with the reigns in my hand. And honestly… I think we’re a lot like horses. There’s this idea of control in our lives when really God has the reigns the entire time. Sure, we can throw a fit. But God never bails off. He’s always there to guide and encourage us. Believe it or not, I actually had fun with CeCe. Oklahoma’s rubbing off on me no matter how much I try to deny it.

Bringing Justice to the Nations

Expecting a place of refuge and peace, I went to bible study on Sunday night.  After spending a few hours with the little two year old kids at church, I needed to remember the beauty of relationships with others your own age.  Weariness was already pressed on my heart.  The worship stirred, the bitter grape juice enthused an inexpressible thanks, but the message… how the message moved.  Christine Caine brought the word of God with such passion and in such a real way that night.  Knowing anyone can read this and many who are not of age to grasp the entirety of this issue, I will use discretion and only hit the surface with how it has affected me and leave a link at the bottom where more information is available.  But I truly feel like I must share this.  The truth must be made known.   Throughout my lifetime, the Lord has shown me how human trafficking was still present and very much happening now in many instances, such as the Passion Conference, my best friend’s first hand concerns while in Thailand, and movies such as Taken.  Over the last few months, He’s been stitching and stretching my heart whenever the issue arises.  I’ve been praying for my heart to break as his does and, as always, He never ceases to fulfill his promises.  For years I’ve known I’m meant to work in the lives of girls and show them the hope and love I’ve experienced through God’s amazing mercy and grace.  That night solidified my purpose.    

The statistics, the numbers, the stories - everything moved me.  I’ve been compassionate and sympathetic to many of the issues in this world.  But that night I became sick to my stomach, wept uncontrollably, and wrestled in my sleep as my heart broke for these girls all over the world trapped and kidnapped then sold into slavery.  Not only treated as slaves, but so emotionally and physically tormented.  How, Savior, is there such injustice?  Who are these men who could do such things?   Not until that night did I realize I’m called to make a difference in the lives of these lost children of God.  Somehow.  Some way.  To give you an idea of the reality, every 47 seconds another person is sold into slavery.  Human lives are the largest smuggling business in the entire world, in front of drugs and the usual things that come to mind.  Only 1-2 percent gets saved out of human trafficking.  And the worst of it… 1 in every 100,000 Europeans involved are convicted.  I wish I could put into words exactly the passion and burden I feel for them.  It’s been a day and a half and I feel like only now can I write these words down.  How I admire those who wrote the Psalms for expressing their emotions so vividly and vulnerably.  But these thoughts need to be shared.  Everyone needs to know that in the 21^st century, slavery STILL exists!  What these poor children and young men and women are being forced to do is something I cannot begin to explain fully but encourage you to take time and see what is happening around you.  Awareness is the first step.  Action is the next.  My new mission is to save lives out of slavery and the horrible conditions they are in.  We’ve been called to bring justice.  And justice must be served.     

Here are some ways YOU can make a difference.   Go to thea21campain (dot) org

The Treking Upward

Last week I felt as if I was skipping through life.  Dancing and spinning without a care in the world.  Purely set my eyes on my Savior and lay in the grass and I talked casually in hour long conversations about everything, anything.  How I adore him and the very ground He walks on.  It felt like those first weeks of dating when you're absolutely swept away by every characteristic of this new person.  Discovering the qualities that make this glow about you so pure.  Treasuring each moment.  How beautifully contagious.  Yet, my Savior, he holds my heart in his steady and trusting hands.  His perfect promises comfort me through all situations.  Never letting out of his sight, out of reach, or our of a situation I can't handle.  I couldn't help but smile and bask in his everlasting presence all week.

Although this fire inside still stays lit and the passion burns and longs still stronger than before, the weekend rendezvous came to an end.  He allows us to experience his presence in such vast ways.  But each day, my soul craves for the stillness.  For I know He waits for me there.  I find him in all places along side me and desperately long to worship him in all my actions, but as the room around me calms and I retreat into his love, He always comes when I patiently wait.  Some times I wait longer times than others, but how can I rush my Healer and Saving Grace?  This idea seems so foreign to me.  As these weeks of preparation come, I pray I can dance so freely again even in the bustling of everyday life.  All the distractions I'm afraid will quench my joy.  I pray for the stillness and for ears to hear his voice.

Let my heart change and mold to his.  He is the one worthy of constructing my very soul around.